Despair II

A large scale school festival involving the middle and high school department lasting from 9 AM to 9 PM. Being so big, classes with the same theme worked together.

Yui and Makoto were in front of the main gate, waiting for Ame

‹ Ah! Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I had stuff to do ›

‹ Ame-chan don’t worry ›

‹ Yuiii-chaaaaan, huuug! ..Tch, why did you bother coming, Makoto-kun? ›

‹ You were the one who said “let’s go together”! ›

‹ Yeah, yeah.. you sure are annoying. So, where do we go? I’d like to start with the haunted house ›

‹ I don’t care.. what about you Kanegawa? ›

‹ The haunted house.. is ok ›

After the haunted house, they visited the movie club, which projected their own film, and finally had lunch in the Butler Café..

Afterwards Makoto met with some of his old friends, so Ame and Yui decided to go around the high school department..

‹ Oof ›

‹ Oi scumbag! Look where you go! ..Yui, are okay? ›

‹ Y-yeah, but.. what’s that? Did he drop it? ›

Yui pointed towards a letter on the ground, Ame picked it up and threw it..

“ To Notsuki Ame, go to your class or we’ll make your friend Yui suffer the same things you went through until now “

..after reading it, though.

‹ Hey Yui-chan.. could you go where we said we’d meet with Makoto-kun without me? ›

‹ Eh?! Uh.. why? ›

‹ Ah.. it’s nothing, I just saw someone from my orphanage and I want to see if I’m not mistaken ›

‹ Uh.. I see, okay. See you in a bit then ›



Reached the class, Ame stopped before entering.

“ Finally I can stop those fucking photos from spreading.. But ’ we ’ ? Does it mean that there isn’t only one person? It’s scary.. I hope it was only a bluff.. ”

She slammed the door. No one was inside, but on the blackboard was written:

“Come to the rooftop.”

‹ Tsk.. they’re toying with me.. do they want to make that anxious.. ? ›



‹ Again.. damn it! ›

Ame was near the fence when suddenly the iron door closed; it was a feeble sound, but you could ear the door being locked.

She ran towards the door and began hitting it.

‹ Hey! Who is it?! Are you the one that’s been molesting me?! Oi! Open up now! ›


‹ ..Eh? ›

‹ So, Ame, how are you feeling? ›

“ This voice.. “

‹ Are you perplexed? Are you confused? Do you want to know why I did it? ›

“ N.. no.. “

‹ Hm? What? Are you really that shocked that you can’t speak? ›

‹ Yu.. i? ›

‹ Yeah, that’s my name, can’t we finish this quickly? I’m busy ›

Without realizing it, Ame’s face was already covered in tears

‹ W.. hy? I.. thought we were friends.. ›

‹ Aaaah? I was NEVER your friend. From the beginning, from when those girls attacked you, from when we met at the infirmary, it was all along my plan against you. How dare you freely chat with him as if it’s nothing special? How dare you act so shamefully and vulgar in front of him? How dare you stay near him! Makoto should just look at me! Fucking bitch! It’s all your fault! Why did you even come to this school to begin with?! ..No. I bet it would have been way better if you didn’t exist entirely. ›

“ Ah.. I see. It’s my fault again. It’s my existence’s fault again. “

‹ Anyway, after today I’ll stop harassing you. Don’t talk to me anymore either.

Makoto, too. Don’t even dare to get near him again. ..I’m not that cruel *snicker* so before leaving I’ll send you a guard.. good riddance, Ame-chan ›

Yui went down the stairs, humming cheerfully. She was going to the festival’s last event, “The Last Dance”, with her prince Makoto..

‹ Oh, there’s only you Kanegawa? Ame? ›

‹ Ame-chan met her childhood friend, Eichirou I think, and said to go without her ›

Involuntarily, Makoto flinched. He was delivered the final blown. For a little his eyes were void of any emotion.

‹ ..Are you okay with me, Yui? ›

An hideous smile grew on Yui’s lips, because even if to others that seemed an invitation to dance, the two of them knew the real meaning of those words..

‹ ..Of course, my dear Prince ›

She held out her hand to him, which was swiftly taken.

The more the two danced, the more her heart fell deeper in a sickening darkness.



At the same time as Yui going away, Ame fell on the ground, and with a blank expression now rid of any tears, she thought and thought and thought again. She was so concentrated that two hours later, she didn’t even notice the guard opening the door.

“ Stupid. I am so stupid. I was just so excited to begin anew..

I was too concentrated on lying, on building up a strong facade.

After I realized that shallow lies get discovered soon, I decided to lie to myself.

I wanted to ’ change ’ my character. I tested it on Ei-kun, he didn’t notice.

The ’ intellectual type ’ was a success, so I wanted to take it a step further, the ’ sociable type ’.

Was this my error?

Was I not supposed to have friends?

Should I have remained alone?

Aren’t monsters secluded from society?

Aren’t different people excluded from the ’ group ’?

Am I not different?

Am I not a monster?

Why did I even think about making friends?

I should stop thinking about things like ’ socializing ’.

I should stop paying attention to others.

Others should stop paying attention to me.

I should stop paying attention to my feelings.

I see. If I kill off completely my emotions, I wouldn’t need to lie anymore either.

From now on, the World and Me are no longer liked. ”

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